Feeling really depressed right now. I would rather catch covid and die (which isn't likely) than live in fear of the response to it, forcing myself through claustrophobic panic attacks to make the money I need to survive. I didn't fight the depression for over a decade to live like this. I actually believed there was a possibility for a better future. Now I wish my suicide attempt had worked 8 years ago. Can this just be over please? I've worked so hard, I've given everything I have to make a good life. Please, can't this hell end... One way or another?
Essential workers everywhere have had to take risks that others have not. We owe it to those workers to show optimism and courage. That doesn't mean taking unnecessary risks but it does mean getting out enough to keep the economy going. We need to act and talk as if we are all in this pandemic together.
Okay... that sounds rather troubling. You're not contemplating suicide again are you? Please don't, there are specially trained individuals out there who could help you if the negative thoughts are getting to be too much. Or maybe try and talk it out on here or a similar site, but please don't commit suicide, each life has potential and purpose. We are all stressed out recently and hope for this pandemic to end, so do know that you are not alone on that. Take care, and hope you feel better soon.