Here's a stupid question for all of you psychologists out there:
Whenever my ex says things in text, she leaves out the "I." She just says things like "Wanted to let you know..." or "Hope you are having..." but she never actually owns any of it.
Is it just me or is that messed up. Maybe passive-aggressive? Something else?
It's not just to me; she addresses our kids this way, too.
1
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5 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.It is an informal usage that has been used for many decades. English is one of thse few languages that does not the actual subject stated, it can be assumed by the hearer.
Marta-Amance
Level 7
Apr 16, 2019
0
It is a way of expressing ideas without committing to a personal position on them.
I would guess that it reflects an ambivalence. This is that difficulty we all have when a relationship has ended, the positive feelings and history do not disappear and yet the present feelings and situation do not match. This is sometimes reflected in slightly altered language.
As time goes by you will find that this will reflect more regular language patterns as you both process the events and your feelings and move on with your lives.
At least this was my experience.
waynus
Level 7
Apr 16, 2019
0
I think that if she does this when she is speaking on the phone with you or the kids...then there may be a missing identity...but, thoughts expressed in texts, are different. When you are thinking, expressions ebb and flow and I am certain that she means no malice...it is just the way her mind texts. The I is missing because she is the I.
KebblerFox
Level 5
Apr 16, 2019
1
Would be interested to know as well. Guilty as sin for doing the exact same thing... all the time!
FEWI
Level 8
Apr 16, 2019
0
You are the I..!
Maybe I should try to be clearer..umm, when you are sitting there thinking to yourself...do you start out with I..? When you are texting, you are essentially typing those thoughts and expressions from your head. Now, when you speak on the phone, this requires the use of the vocal cords and all of the functions necessary to speak, so, you would say "I will stop by the grocery store before I come how, do you want anything..? ". You see, is doesn't involve all of the extra equipment..it is just mental.
FEWI:
@KebblerFox I am the I? ..Mmmmmmmm....I confess, I’m not an intellectual. This one is over my head. But thanks... I guess. ??
@FEWI So, when you are day-dreaming, do you think about including "I"..? When you are thinking to yourself, do you begin with "I"..? But when you have to speak your thoughts...it is more than likely you will use "I". Even I do this. When I text a friend that I will be there at 17:00.. I would just text 17:00...or even "there at 17:00". Because, I am not speaking the words, and, because you are connected to these people, they generally take it in stride. Have you ever asked if it bother anyone..?
FEWI:
@KebblerFox Thank you. That’s much clearer.... To answer your question on if I knew it bothered anyone... No.. Not that I know of. Reading this post is the first time I understood this was a problem to some. Who knew?? You learn something new everyday. Thanks again and have a great day. ??
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