Hello. Thanks for your input. What you say is so true. While we all advocate for being individual, we can't seem to help grouping ourselves into different categories and tar all in the same group with the same brush. (Generalisation is one of my pet hates.) I guess, we're all tribes at heart.

@Naomi We have a tendency to "hang" with those we feel most comfortable. It's human nature. My Best Half and I visited my sister in the Midwest, and went to a professional baseball game. I was amazed at how comfortable I was, and the crowd was mixed ethnicity. Shared values (sports) made it comfortable.

There is also a reason for the proverb 'birds of a feather flock together'.

In the past, I encountered enough people like the elderly man I mention in the original post, and when they present rather blunt shallow views on certain groups of people (or anything for that matter), I can't help wondering how they reached their views, which are often as idiotic as 'Ah, he is from Turkey, that tells a lot about him.' I guess it's due to prejudice based on what they see portrayed by the media and not based on their own experiences. Ah well, aren't we all prejudiced after all...?

Hello. More kindness, less judgement. I tell myself that all the time,and I think everybody should go along with that.

Hello.
'I'm a bit surprised you didn't say "old WHITE man" - because I'm pretty sure that's what you're alluding to in your little story.'
Ah, iThink. Sigh... You hardly know anything about me, yet you assume a lot about me. What's your problem with 'women hate this and that' in your comment? What has 'white man' got to do with the incident I was in? If the elderly man was black, Indian, or even a woman, it would have unfolded exactly the same way. If you arrived at the above rather unfounded perception about me, with all due respect, sir, I would argue that you are the one who's been caught up in the "hate white men" narrative. It sounds like you're a victim of identity politics, not me.
Incidentally, I haven't encountered anyone who I hate so much that I would even hate the entire group that person belongs to.

@Naomi so what does the age and the sex of the person in your story have to do with the substance of your post...the persons age and sex are in no way pertinent to the story are as you told it.
Just like the story I told in response (although each incident is true) the age and sex of the persons described is unimportant unless I am trying to illustrate the idea that character flaws are NOT unique to males.

My story illustrates the fallacy and superficiality of you making "old men" out to be problematic in terms of racist attitude. Although your story and my story may be true (mine is true BTW) the age and sex of those persons is not germane to the general question. "on what basis do you decide if you like someone or not". UNLESS you're using "old men" as an example of generally unlikable type his age and sex had nothing to do with his obvious racist attitudes.

You expose your own bias in how you told your story. From that any reasonable person could infer that you tend to see "old men" as problematic in terms of racial and cultural biases.
The biases of your "old man" are repulsive to any reasonable person. Of course that makes him very "unlikable". It would make anyone who thinks and talks as he does (in your story) unlikable.

The "likability" factor is a very broad, ubiquitous generalized thing to decipher. Human beings are by definition complex and "difficult to like" much of the time. That is a general answer to the generalized question of "how do you decide if you like someone or not".

Think about it this way - there were people who thought Adolf Hitler was a pretty cool guy - Eva Braun comes to mind. The point here being that at different times and from various and different perspectives you (and me) might "dislike" someone whom in any other circumstance we might well have walked away thinking just the opposite.

We don't even understand ourselves half the time! Sometimes, we (neurotically) dislike ourselves too. We all have said and done things that were regrettable and the best thing we can do is to try to do better and to BE BETTER in each passing moment of our lives.

When confronted with the uncomfortable fact that "someone" does NOT like us it might be wise (although extremely difficult) to take a personal inventory - to look back at what was said and done and to assess if that person has cause - if there is some explanation for their negative feelings about us. What might I have said or done to evoke that response in others? But that is a subject for another day.

The question should be "whose fault is it if no one like me" LOL!! Funny but painfully true!

Look, iThink. I don't know why you assumed that the original post is fictional. Every thing that is included in the 'story' (as you call it) is a fact. the Japanese friends, the old man, EVERYONE and EVERY THING in the post exist, and this incident did happen for real. Somewhat, you got fixated to the idea that I made this one up in order to stir the political pot, or you were just reading too much into it.
Why did you assume that the old man is white? In my neighbourhood, there are old Asian men as well as old white men. Why do you say that old men are problematic and repulsive? Is that how you perceive elderly people? That would include my elderly uncles. I won't have it.

I wasn't upset by what the old man was saying. I was a little startled by his remarks. Not many people would start a conversation like he did with complete strangers. My friends and I were a little embarrassed, not knowing how to respond to his remarks.

I began to wonder then, as I do, how people become to like others, by first impression, behaviour, colour of skin, religion, etc., etc.?. I also wondered if people would change their attitude from friendly to not so friendly, and vice versa, once they found each other's background more. I'm an ethnic minority in the UK and I've been living in the same street for many many years. My neighbours no longer see me as a foreigner (they did to start with, naturally), they see me as 'me' (they actually tell me so). Funnily enough, I think I'm right in saying that the British people are quite class-conscious among themselves, and for some, it appears to be a difficult factor to overcome when making friends. It is a cultural thing and is deeply rooted in British society. "Birds of a feather" comes in my mind...

Hello. I wasn't upset or anything. My friends and I were a little startled. Not many people would start a conversation like that with complete strangers. Lol My Japanese friends just stood there with a polite smile, and I was desperately seeking the chance to politely disengage ourselves from the conversation. Considering his age (maybe in his 80s?) He could've said that he hates the Japanese (don't mention the war!).
Did I mention, by the way, when he laughed I saw a tooth fall out his mouth but he wasn't aware. All in all, it was quite an experience. It made a little souvenir story for my friends - I hope.

Hello. I agree. When someone, like the old man I mention, says they hate a certain group of people, do you think that's due to lack of education? I bet the old man has never encountered any Muslim in person, let alone any Chinese or Japanese person.
Meanwhile, when I moved to Britain and started mingling with British people, I couldn't help noticing that they were quite class-conscious; upper-class, middle-class, working-class, etc. Such consciousness is a cultural thing which is deeply rooted in British society, and could be a hard factor to overcome when making friends.

Hello. do you think it is possible that two people from different cultural backgrounds can share values?

@Naomi it’s possible, But the further you’re values differ the more open minded the two individuals must be. Usually people on the creative Mental spectrum will be able too. But a less creative closed minded person would not.

People with strong Identity and close mindedness would find zero struggles with other aspects of their lives that open minded weak Identity people would find impossible.

Open minded people are much more likely to become suicidal, depressed etc...

Like I said a balance is really ideal

@Naomi Absolutely. Go on a mission trip to Bosnia or China or Cuba. You'll see people from starkly different cultures worship the same God.

@Naomi religion is culture. The stories we tell ourselves influences our Identity. Different stories will yield different opinions & view points. People who believe in the same religion will have grown up listening to the same stories and will develop similar values.

The sad reality is that many of our current difficulties as a society would be instantly solved by a strong group cultural Identity. Unfortunately intolerance is a unavoidable consequence.

Hello. Do you love everyone?

@Naomi Dear God, no. I simply don't get a say on whether I like other individuals. I have no control whatsoever over my emotions, and I'm not at all sure how much I have over how I respond to them.

But I practice.

But, but, but, govols. Surely, you have encountered someone you liked; someone you thought you could get along with, like resonating with each other's values, etc., no?

Of course I have, but I didn't get a say on the matter. It's a gut level emotional reaction over which I have as little rational control as I do a sneeze.

I have a certain amount of choice in association, but like? No, not really.

I'm a little surprised by the way you describe yourself; you always appear to be a very intellectual, rational person...

@Naomi i would argue that @govols responses are evidence that he/she is both intellectual and rational, mores even than most. understanding that you don't have control over certain emotions is something that i believe is a great step to understanding yourself. it seems the a very self aware position

@jamesjohn, @govols
Ah, I get it... I think. Do you mean something like the ability to observe inner yourself?

@Naomi jamesjohn is basically nailing what I was saying. In much the same way I can't control--but only experience--anger, disappointment, revulsion, I further have little control over first impressions, attachment, etc. Somebody expressed it as the little gods who rule you, over whom only through practice of reason and discipline might you gain some control through your choices and deeds. The appetites, if you will, and restraint.

I've said before that I don't consider many humans to be people, but often to usually merely animals. I say that because I'm well aware of the little monster in myself, and how little control I have over the bastard. I know the sociopath pretty well, and we're so often likable. We're practiced at it and have mastered its performance.

Intuitive action (emotions, impressions... the things you talk about) followed by reasoning to justify that action.

Have you read 'The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion' by Jonathan Haidt?
His elephant & rider metaphor is very interesting and there is a lot of truth in it in my opinion.

'The emotional side is the elephant, the rational side is the rider. The rider of the elephant looks like he or she is in charge, but when there’s a disagreement between the elephant and the rider, the elephant usually wins.'

@Naomi I'm not sure which of his I've read, or if I ever finished. I'm very familiar with the rider and elephant, and the 5-6 moral taste buds and how they sort out among right, left, and libertarian. On the latter I think he really needs to further develop his thinking on moral and political spectra.

I agree.

Hello. Do you have Muslim friends?

@Naomi I work with several of them... And I watch my back. Because.... I remember

Why do you feel you have to watch your back around your Muslim colleagues? Because of the Treaty of Hudaybiyyah?

@Naomi Because It is writen black on white in thew Quran lady.. They give themself the right to lie to an infidel. They give themself the right of life and death on infidels. And if you add the normal human nature into this... You have a recipe for....Watch your fucking back at all time... If you can't escape being in the presence of people of that faith... It is a war that has been started 1400 years ago... And never did stop... Even if you want o forgive and forget about it... it is your prerogative.... Fine for you and I hope nothing bad will come out of it for you...

But... I'm a Quebecer... Our whole moto is...Je me souviens....I remember.

Interesting... (I'm not being sarcastic)
Do you think many other Quebecers would support your view?
I believe that the majority of Canadian Muslims live in Ontario and Quebec. Is Quebec divided?