I have been married to a wonderful woman for 34 years and my brother and his wife recently celebrated their 38th anniversary.

First let me say, “I’m sorry you’ve been hurt so badly that it gives you this perspective. I hope some day God will renew your spirit and help you get over the pain you feel”.

Now, when you say, “MEN & WOMEN CAN NEVER BE EQUAL ON THIS EARTH”, you display in this first statement a root of your confusion and consternation; and a potential beginning to your healing. If you can separate equality from sameness you may be able to accept their equality and even embrace their differences as a good thing.

Consider the following: I say your mouth and your anus are equal. In saying that I am not saying they are the same nor are do they operate in the same manner. If you don’t have a mouth, you will have a hard time getting the nutrients into your body that are required to not only survive, but to thrive. In the same way, without your anus, you will have a hard time eliminating the toxic buildup of waste materials left behind after you eat. The abilities to “take food into your body” and “eliminating waste from your body” are equally important and neither should be considered inferior. Although you may be able to take in nutrients via IV or a stoma (PEG), these alternatives are not ideal and they leave you disabled and less whole. In the same way, you can rid your body of most impurities and waste with a stoma (colostomy), but once again you will be disabled and less whole.

So although the two are not the same, they are indeed both equal (in value). In a similar way a woman and a man are indeed different, but equal in value. Maybe you would have been happier/ less damaged by some failed relationship if you had understood this, but that should give you hope for future potential relationships. First, you must understand your purpose in a relationship, then you can learn the purpose of the woman in the relationship (at the same time she will need to understand her purpose in a relationship first and then the man’s purpose). After that, when you find each other and you have the same understanding ((communication is critical)., you can proceed to determining if you are right for each other (same beliefs, goals, motivation levels, etc...) before proceeding to pursuit of a lifelong relationship and oneness/unity. (ie Marriage).

I taught my daughters and the men they were interested in about biblical pursuit of lifelong marriage relationships (Not world’s view or even church’s view). My oldest daughter has been married to the second man that proposed to her for over 11 years and they just had their 5th child. They both have a great relationship with the Lord , each other, their family and many, many friends. (the first guy that proposed to her wanted to do thing the same as everybody else and after a couple years of courting, they broke off their relationship and she became available for a wonderful man that was right for her)

Finally, it might also help to understand that a biological attraction is not the same thing as love. That biological attraction feels awesome, but it never lasts forever. True love is a decision based well understood (and communicated) common priorities and rolls. Best of luck and may God bless your efforts to make your way out of this hole.

Men and women were meant to be complementary, not competition.