So I've been accused of being trans for the majority of my life ( 25+ years). I knew I liked girls before I knew I was born female. I present very masculine and have been mistaken for male for more than half my life. I do experience gender dysphoria, and I don't feel comfortable with female associations. But even with all this I don't believe I'm really trans or non binary, the only thing I would consider doing is top surgery. But I still don't know what I fall under and it has been bugging me. Is it possible for me to still be a cis lesbian thats hyper masucline or am I trans/non binary?
I think to get to the root of the problem here, we need to forget about all these labels for a moment. The real root of the issue is the gender dysphoria. Now let's call gender dysphoria what it really is, a mental disorder. It is an abnormality of the brain that causes someone who experience stress over being perceived as the gender they biologically are. For some people, transitioning to the opposite gender is the best option. For others it's not. I personally struggled with gender identity for quite a few years, and I now fully embrace the woman I was born as. The main thing that helped me was counselling. Now, I went to a woman who actually identified as a life coach and took a much more holistic, sometimes spiritual approach. But honestly, you don't even have to be spiritual to heal through holistic psychology. Honestly, I think before considering surgery and permanantly altering your body especially when it sounds like you aren't completely sure that's what you want, it would be smart to ask yourself why you don't see yourself as a woman. And I think the holistic psychological approach of looking at root traumas is very, very effective and would be much more beneficial to you than jumping straight to transitioning. If you are interested, let me know, and I can maybe help you go about finding someone like this to talk to.
I voted trans/enby... but not because I believe you are that. From reading a simple paragraph about your life all I can tell is that your gender is complex and (maybe) you're in distress about that. I can't know what you are, which is something very personal that you have to work out inside yourself (maybe with a gender therapist, a good one).
But to me it sounds like if you want you tick enough of the boxes to claim a trans/enby identity, or you could just claim a "cis but a little different" identity.
Either way I hope whatever happens you find good inner health
Thank you for the responses, and yes I understand that aspect of being masculine doesn't mean I'm trans. It is more the fact that I have gender dysphoria that makes me question my identity. Yes peoples remarks throughout my life had shined a light on it but I have always suffered from dysphoria. I would get panic attacks when I had to wear feminine clothes or make up and I cringe when someone calls me something feminine (i.e beautiful, feminine, pretty). I also have bad chest/bottom dysphoria but I manage it. Before the virus I got triggered at school because there was a guy that asked me out and it fucked with me (theres a lot behind that, the point is that guys view me as one of their own and he saw me in a feminine way). But even with this, I don't want to transition for many reasons. I used to hate being refereed to as a female or female pronouns; now I'm not as bothered with it. I'm sorry I put so much focus on my appearance, i was really asking for the dysphoria aspect more than how I present. I do really appreciate your responses though.
It's absolutely possible to be a hyper-masculine cis lesbian. To be honest, I'm surprised you would feel insecure as to whether or not being a hyper masculine lesbian is ok - that's always been one of the norms within the lesbian community. There is absolutely nothing wrong with presenting masculine as a born female, whether you're trans or not. If you're exploring your sense of gender identity, there's nothing wrong with that, either. Two of my friends, they feel the same way you do, fairly uncomfortable with female associations, and one of them actually chose to identify as genderqueer for that reason. At one point they wondered if they were trans themselves, but didn't actually have any desire to become a man, and they do have a sense of dysphoria, but not to the extent where they want to transition and become the opposite sex. Basically, referring to themselves as "genderqueer" is their way of expressing how they naturally bend certain gender norms. They present very masculine, and do have a lot of masculine qualities. But they also express, on occasion, very soft, feminine qualities, and those things together create their identity, which is neither totally female or male (but does lean more heavily on the masculine side). Basically, just express yourself the way that feels most natural and authentic to you. It's ok to simply identify as a biological female who likes to present masculine. It's ok to identify as genderqueer, if you don't feel completely aligned to either male or female, but represent qualities of both. Just be yourself, no matter what ❤
You’re human. Nobody should be identifying as anything else. Labels create discrimination. If we all just thought Of each other as a fellow human Sharing almost all our DNA we’d be better off. There are way more important issues than race or gender. There aren’t that many people left who care what race or gender someone is. Although media would have you believe different.
You are you and we’re all good with that.
There is nothing wrong with being a masculine lesbian, please don't let anyone convince you otherwise, or that you need to identify as trans because you don't fit sex role stereotypes. the only requirements for being a woman are being a human female who has reached adulthood. and many lesbians like myself love unapologetically masculine women. just be yourself and it will be okay!
It is entirely possible to be a hyper masculine lesbian. And good news, there are other lesbians who are into that!
The most important label is your name, not your orientation or “gender identity”.
My question for you is absent the “accusation” of being trans, would you be asking this? It sounds like it is more about other people trying to define you, rather than you defining yourself.