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ANOTHER QUESTION FOR LESBIANS FROM A STRAIGHT GUY:

Is it me or is lesbian identity slowly being phased out? I've been doing some digging because I don't know much about lesbian culture but it seems that lesbians have been affected the most by the accepting of the lgbtq community by the mainstream. I've read that lesbian only spaces are disappearing, and even the younger generation refuses to adopt the label of lesbian. Instead preferring the general term of queer. My question is do you think this due to there not being a strong lesbian culture. Not that I'm an expert on the lesbian community or experience. But from an outsider's perspective looking in it seems that there really isn't anything within the lesbian community other than having sex and relationships exclusively with women that is uniquely lesbian. Meaning there is nothing that would seem out of place if adopted by a straight woman. Nothing that I can identify any way but I'm an idiot. I miss a lot. I think this theory explains why the younger generation rejects the label. If there's nothing they can call their own within the lesbian culture why would they adopt the label. But there is a sense of uniqueness in the larger queer community so they adopt that label.

Shiosakai 6 July 24
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2

yep. lesbians ARE the most affected. I'm so happy that even straight people are now able to see our struggle. thank you for taking note. i think the lesbian community is strong, but we also are more welcoming so it allows people to take advantage.

3

It is! All of this "Love the lady dick or you're a transphobe" is just more conversion therapy. Sadly, it works when its the left doing it. You don't know how many women on the now defunct Gender Critical said they tried to date a transwoman because they felt guilted and pressured into it by their peers.

2

It's true dude!!! A lot of lesbians feel like the community is dying out, it's fuckin sad... Here are some things I have noticed in my experience:

  1. There aren't a lot of lesbian bars, like there are gay bars. Instead, some bars hold monthly parties where the lesbians go to have a good time... It's only once a month, and some of them are dying out! My favorite one got canned 😭😭😭 so sad...
  2. A lot of lesbians don't related to the word "lesbian", for various reasons. One time I went to this gathering of...what I assumed were lesbians. But none of them identified with the word "lesbian"...
  3. Just speaking from my own experience.... there is this strange pressure, or enticement, of masculine lesbians to go "transmasculine". As in, go on hormones and adopt a transgender identity. During a dark period of my life, I had people egging me on to start hormones... I really think that they meant well, but it's kinda eerie in retrospect. It was sold to me as a panacea -- something that would greatly improve my life and fix my problems.. I came pretty close to going on hormones before realizing it was a mistake. Based on some conversations I've had, I really think there are a lot of lesbians who've been pressured / swayed into adopting transgender identities. But nobody talks about it...
3

Older gay man here. Lesbian culture and the lesbian community has been decimated. Mostly due to economic inequality, lesbians unlike gay men fall in love and don't go out as much... lesbians nest (gay men fall in love and still go out.), and female space like MichFest and female only lesbian space were deemed transphobic. With inclusive safe space... pushed out lesbian space.

There was once a thriving lesbian community.
Events
Womens Music Festivals
Bars
Coffee Houses
Restaurants
Spoken word
Music
Comedy Nights
Theater
Womens Weekends
Organizations both political and social
Language
Neighborhoods
Portland and Santa Fe were considered lesbian cities
Art Festivals
Conferences

All of that gone... <poof> It is sad that the LGBTQIA++ Community does not care and never discusses what happened... they just erased it from history and act like it never happened. We should have made economic inequality, & the ERA LGBT issues but we dropped the ball.

I don't understand. If lesbians culture was decimated because they stay in and don't go out how was it built in the first place? Also nesting is cheaper than going out all the time so wouldn't that put a lesbian couple at an economic advantage? Are you taking about the pay gap? Because it doesn't exist. That study that's been debunked so many times just averages the pay between men and women working full-time. It doesn't take into account hours worked or position or anything. Also any employer who pays women less than men is in violation of 2 federal laws. The Lilly Ledbetter Act of 2008 and the Equal Pay Act of 1964. It's literally a felony.

accurate

@Shiosakai Women do get less even with the Lilly Ledbetter Law. There are also factors suck as advancement. Women have less disposable income. As rents increased in many cities lesbian venues suffered. Then there is the push to make things inclusive lesbian space had yet another reason to be unsustainable. When I was young my lesbian friends had things that younger lesbians do not have now. So much of it is gone.

1

I don't know too much about this, as I'm not a lesbian and never have identified as one. But isn't it up to young people how they want to identify? If they don't identify as lesbian and they prefer "queer," what's the problem? Does this really harm anyone or is it just a shift in subculture?

Again, I can't speak for lesbians. I welcome a real lesbian to share a differing opinion with me if she has one.

It's totally their choice but it's a little shitty to those women before them who literally fought for their right to be who they are and love who they love. Ultimately it's just a banner but the foundation the queer kids stand on was built on the backs of women who proudly called themselves lesbian when it was illegal and dangerous to do so. It's kinda sad that's being cast aside.

1

I have alot of thoughts on this.

I'm between CompHet, and the split attraction model, sexism and trans activism... before we even get to homophobia...

Yeah... lesbian is being phased put because it has so many negative connotations.

It the uk when I was growing up Gay men got called fags/ faggots / pussys / etc.

Women got called lezbos/ dykes . I get why lesbian has negative assosiations.

But to replace with "queer" is a fucking piss take.

Side note: this is why I identified as queer. Im gay. Getting to the point of saying im a lesbian had tok much ikky assiosiated with it. Because Im nearly 30.

Younguns have zero excuse lol

Thanks for sharing your experience.

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