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As much as I appreciate definitions and accurate descriptions when communicating, this is so much more complex, but I think you have struck an important chord.

First, I think its important to acknowledge that while people should determine their own identities, it really is more negotiated and often we don't do the best job of being honest with ourselves when we are confused or vulnerable. Thus what I state my identity is does not necessarily map to how I function. Sometimes I dislike the results of my actions and I need to adjust them to suit my vision of myself. Sometimes its the vision, or lack of, thats the problem. The "spectrum" has a relativity (or time) dimension too... so that it can take years for identity and actions to be coherent.

Second, though sexuality has evolved into this multidimensional socially-constructed object, its roots are in fitness (the biology kind) and a competitive game. I think its an easy argument that lesbians can have an edgy, adventurous appeal in an era where the pejorative "basic bitch" was coined. And down a similar road to the "appropriation" of "gay fashion" by straight men to get the attention of the women. In the case of lesbians and the traditional "pursuit-game" in straight relationships: lesbians could be seen to be a more interesting challenge.

It's possible she was actually a lesbian until the quarantine started. It's possible to me she was convinced she was a lesbian, decided to quit mens for good because yuck, began the work of adjusting her life to that identity, had some success and became someone different. This different person attracted a type of male she had not encountered, and now wtf?

thirteen 2 Apr 20
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2 quick examples for TL;DR:
A 58 year old woman never had sex with a man in her life, was married twice with another woman, but found an old guy that rides motorcycles and takes her fishing. They don't have sex but decide to get married so they can leave each other assets on the way out. She feels bad for him and gives him occsional blowjobs and decided its kinda fun in a way...

True story I'm a "straight male" and I can stare at Brad Pitt in the movie Troy for hours. Ive never gotten aroused from it, but it gives me the exact same butterflies as seeing Shannyn Sossamon. Some of my guy friends would def say I'm not straight in the same way they are, maybe thats true. But would you really say that's bi?

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