Hi Arielle! I just want to say that I've been really touched by your journey into "transphobia." Thank you for having the courage to say what others will not. I wanted to tell you that as a bisexual woman, I've been nothing but irritated when it comes to trying to date within my community. I'm so frustrated with pansexual people shaming everyone into not liking penis. As a bisexual woman I'm attracted to men and women but not a mix of both. When seeking a woman, I seek the female form and experience - something I definitely know you relate to. I cannot tell you the number of times when on dating sites that I've been DMed by pre-op transwomen for dates and subsequently shamed for not being attracted to them. I know that a lot of bisexual women seem down with whatever, but there are those of us who aren't and that's okay!
How I've always looked at it as a ftm person is that I'm just a different kind of man. Neurologically, I'm male. My body on testosterone isn't fully female anymore, nor is it going to be a typical cis male's. And with this, with being a different kind of guy, there are going to be people who date men and are okay with the difference and others who aren't. It's just not their thing. I look at it like any other dating preference. As long as trans people aren't being purposefully misgendered, and as long as the science behind trans identity is being respected, there's absolutely nothing wrong with having preferences, especially when our bodies are going to have such big differences.