Arielle, what do you think of lesbian only spaces? Should lesbians be allowed their own spaces or are they being unfair in excluding bisexuals and trans women? I’m a 20 year old lesbian struggling to accept my sexuality and I noticed the “lesbian” groups online don’t help. Most lesbians spaces are wlw and include bisexuals, transwomen, and anyone who wants to be a woman. In these spaces, bisexuals and trans women usually control the spaces. Bisexuals say everything is biphobic about the lesbians and trans women expect lesbians to date trans women. These spaces don’t help my self acceptance and I usually walk away from them feeling worse about myself.
What bothers me is that gay men are allowed their own spaces but not lesbians. I think this is due to misogyny. I feel like lesbians are some of the most hated in the lgbt community. Transgenders are the lgbt community new darling and gays are on the back burner. Lesbians face both misogyny and homophobia from tra and if they speak up, they are terfs.
Sorry for my rant. Anyways do you know of any good online lesbian only spaces? If not, do you know of any spaces where I can go to and feel better about being a lesbian? Btw Arielle, you make me feel better about being a lesbian. I am glad you are brave enough to speak up.
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I'm trans. Lesbians should have their own spaces exactly to the degree that they want to. No question.
chana65535
Level 3
Dec 1, 2020
0
just tweeted about this. its sad that women are expected to ALWAYS be inclusive and men arent. thats the bigger issue here.
ariellescarcella
Level 7
Nov 24, 2020
4
Just checked out your tweet. I’m glad I’m not the only one to point lesbians aren’t really allowed to have a space. I wish lesbians could have a space to themselves because there’s issues unique to lesbianism that need to be talked about without judgement from non lesbians. It’s sad they can’t have one due to misogyny
I say that all the time to some hypocritical gay men we all know.
@EarthBear66 I just gotta ask, do gay men think lesbians don’t deserve their own spaces? If so, I would love to see them shoved in a space where bi men and transmen run it where they say everything about their community and sexuality is biphobic and transphobic. I bet they won’t last a week lol
@Kitkat99 The majority of gay men I know are completely oblivious on this issue. they do not follow lesbians on social media, they don't have a large amount of lesbian friends IRL, they don't talk to lesbians.
If you look at most gay mens social media on gay male social media You will see entertainers, Divas, Drag Queens, dick, dick, dickity, dick, dick, Insta-hunks, and parties. It is a male privilege to be oblivious to gender based issues. The boxer ceiling is just starting to gay men. When they see trans guys secondary sexual characteristics online they see a handsome man, a trans mans vagina is a hypothetical to them. When someone says " Gay men love pussy." they will blow it off and laugh at it.
It is not that they don't think women and especially lesbians don't deserve female space they have no idea what is happening. They do not acknowledge that they have male dominance in inclusive space or acknowledge they enjoy male space. They don't know in most areas lesbians have NO space. They were not aware of lesbian space when there was lesbian space and have no concept how decimated the lesbian community is. So if you are a 18-30 year old lesbian you probably have never experienced women only space in the LGBT community. You probably have never experienced a Dyke Bar or Lesbian space. Even lesbians who were early 20s in the early 2000s have never been in Lesbian female only space. Might have never been to something like Michfest or a lesbian spoken word coffee house that was only women. Watch "Go Fish" which was filmed in a lesbian neighborhood in Chicago. Watch "Last Call at Maudes". Lesbian had cities like Santa Fe (Girls on the Side) and Portland OR, that were lesbian cities. SF. Berkley CA used to have a rich lesbian community and the Valencia was the lesbian neighborhood in SF.
I believe lesbians need female space because LGBT safe space is not a safe space for lesbians. They need a space were they are not fetishized, were they can congregate as lesbians, and TBH where lesbians can go and freaking exhale and not look over their backs. I enjoy my gay male spaces I think lesbians should have that feeling too.
@EarthBear66 Oh so most gay men are just oblivious to the fact lesbians don’t have a space? That’s understandable as there really is no reason for gay men to poke around the lesbian community. I mean, I know nothing about the gay community other than the fact they are allowed to have to have a space. Boxer celling lol. It’s interesting how gay men can just laugh the idea of a man with a vagina, while it’s a genuine fear for lesbians.
I have never been to a lesbian space yet from what I have read, I envy it. It seems like a cool little place I can only dream of. Lesbians shouldn’t be pressured to include bisexuals and trans women out of fear of being called bigots. Lesbians deserve a space where they can talk about issues and quirks specific to lesbians. I feel like I am fetishized by people in the lgbt+ community especially the fake trans women. I never thought of safety of women being another reason why lesbians deserve their own spaces but that’s another good point. Once again, a lesbian space is something I desire but isn’t possible without being called biphobic or a terf
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