China would not be so opaque if the origins were natural.
Like people with A type blood. This is how I know it was a Chinese plot... It targets our best and brightest... Those individuals who score an A- or higher on their blood tests!
Speaking of blood tests, I didn't even study for mine in high school class and I got an A+! I think I was even hung over that day. I've never had to study for one ever, and always an A+.
They kicked me out of the Navy the lying bastards because they said I "failed a drug test."
"Never failed a blood test in my life!" I says. "What was my score?"
He looks puzzled, then says, "We found marijuana and alcohol in your blood."
"Well I didn't put it there. If I had the marijuana I would've smoked it, and the alcohol I would've drunk. How the hell you gonna shoot up a beer and a joint anyway?"
He goes, “Well the problem is we found alcohol and marajuana in your blood while you were on duty.”
“Well that’s a crock of shit! I didn’t put it in there and there was nobody around when I was on duty or I never would have drunk a beer and smoked a joint. You know me mate, always discrete.”
Then he goes, “So you admit you were intoxicated while on duty?”
“To you mate, yeah, but you aren’t going to grass me are ya? I’ll shout you a beer and a joint down the pub later.”
They just dragged me away. The whole time over my shoulder I’m yelling “But what was my score? What was my fucking score?”
They never told me. It’s a conspiracy I tell you. I’ve tried to think back to how it happened
You know why they won’t let any of their “soldiers” ever relax with a beer and a joint? Ya ever watched the movie Gallipoli? At the end when they tell ‘em all to go up over the trench and run at a machine-gun nest? Do you think if those blokes had just had a beer and a joint they’d be obeying that order?
“Fuck that mate. That would seriously harsh my buzz man. Fuck that shit. Just smoked a joint. Machine-gun nest will still be there in an hour won’t it? Come speak to me then.”
Now this can be a somewhat risky strategy. Logistics are vital! You gotta maintain your supply lines at all times. You’re gonna need a beer and a joint every hour on the hour to maintain your cover. But they don't allow beer or joints on duty. If I find the bloke who somehow stashed it in my blood...
They're full of shit I failed. I'm an ace at blood tests. It's all the others I have trouble with.